I once met a guy who told me that ‘Relationships are just hard friendships’, that love was over-rated, the kind in films just doesn’t exist in the real world. He was in a relationship and had a weird mole on his face. He was not to be trusted.
I’m often left wondering whether he had a point though. I certainly have never noticed a suitor from the other side of the ballroom. My hair gently billowing on my shoulder as I look up ‘Oh what’s that? No, tonight’s not a special occasion, I just came from work. I’m simply always this glamorous. Oh this outfit? My dear friend Versace lent it to me for the evening’. My love life has never worked out as easily as Sandra Bullock and Meg Ryan promised it would be. It seems almost too easy to accept the fact that Hugh Grant, or someone less annoying than Hugh Grant, is just around the corner waiting for us to romance in his million dollar hotel and private aeroplane.
Do we expect too much? Do we run at the first sign of trouble? In fact, no, we don’t. We often get dragged through shit before we realize that we can’t stand the smell of our own desperation – Well that’s the experience I’m hearing anyway.
Kelly stabbed a dumpling and held it to her face ‘Just an asshole’. She liked to use the word, because it was offensive enough, that if it were to ever go back to the guy she was referring to it would hurt, but it was not so offensive that the guy could retaliate back without looking like a complete wimp.
‘The world is full of assholes! There are no good men anywhere!’
This declaration had come after I asked her about the guy I remembered she said she was kind of seeing a few months ago when I last saw her. That’s how fairy-tales begin right? The princess that kind of sees the prince? Snow White and the Seven Stepkids? Hooking up, as the youngsters call it, yet it was getting to that awkward stage where it was either going forward, or it was going to end.
While the result of Kelly’s romance is self-evident. I however, find myself in the very same quandary with a lot of questions to ask. I catch myself before I ask them though, because when has saying ‘OMG WHERE IS THIS GOING’ to someone ever made them anything but uncomfortable. Rapunzel never stooped to that level, and you know that Rapunzel was not the Prince’s one and only. It worked out for her, her confidence in her youthful looks, her penthouse apartment and her bitchin’ blond locks nabbed her the man in the end. Is this the fairy-tale role model that we should be looking toward? While I’m currently not looking for anything long-term or full-on there’s something nagging at me, wondering whether I’m the one they want or the one they’re having.
Maybe mole-face weirdo had a point in the way that our life is more like Friends with Benefits without the happy ending (and that also no-one is as attractive as JT or Mila), and that we struggle to find potential partners because we’re too expectant of what a great love is. Or maybe Kelly is right, and that all men, ergo mole-face weirdo, are assholes. If relationships are just hard friendships, I am in an open polyamorous with about 10 people. An open bisexual relationship. It surpasses any tall tale Disney could dream up