If there’s a common experience that we as humankind all share it is one thing. It is not death, birth or even taxes, it is the bitter experience of being played. Even though you might be young, think back. There’s definitely a moment in time where you have been played. If you think back, and this isn’t the case, you are either
- A lobotomy patient
- 12 years old
- Incredibly attractive
- Incredibly unattractive
Being played, involves a person, sometimes referred to as the playee, being ‘played’ by the oft referred player. As it stands, I’m fairly sure that I am currently being played like a family owned game of Cluedo, and in true form I was the last one to figure it out.
If I were to be brutally honest with myself and you, the audience, the signs were all there to begin with. In fact I slept with the person when they was in some kind of relationship with another person (Gggllll Karma! In my defense, they told me nothing was going on. Who was I to argue?) But as humans, who naturally aspire to some kind of meaningful connection with other human beings, we begin a curious phenomenon of making excuses for the other party. I struggle to define why this occurs, is it because we want to believe the best in people and humankind, or we are too afraid to face the probable truth – that we just surrendered ourselves to complete jackasses?
As the failationship sails along we tend to lose any sense of …well everything. It becomes less about a meaningful connection and more a weird competition where there are no points or prizes, just runner-ups and a crowd. You want to win, and you’re competing in two races – to prove everyone who has had misgivings wrong, but mostly you’re racing for yourself, and hoping to God you were right about this person, and that you can still trust your own judgement. I’m finding myself in a quandary. If I ask I seem like a crayfish nutbag, but if I don’t I’m probably going to turn grey by the end of the month. I wouldn’t describe our situation as a relationship, or even dating. It’s more of a meeting of body parts than it is a meeting of the minds.
This brings us to the ugliest word (apart from maybe ‘infect’ or ‘moist’) – insecurity, and this is the silver bullet that players will use to make playees feel like paranoid deadshits. Being insecure and needy is perhaps the biggest turn-off ever, I can confirm that this is the case. There is nothing worse than the person who doesn’t get the hint. That being said, there are provisions. Everyone has insecurities and doubts, some manage to hide them better than the teenage girls that listen to Short Stack and bathe in foundation every morning – however if the other party does nothing at all to appease these feelings of unease, well can someone really be blamed for acting a bit neurotic?
My friends have had mixed advice about what I should do. Be upfront, Alice said. She has a point, but there’s no point in asking someone who isn’t professing it anyway. In the end, I’ve decided to cut my losses and let it go. There’s nothing that would be more infuriating to me than giving a player reason to think I was crazy, and that they were ~right~ about me all along.