The other day I was in a Halloween supplies store browsing the various fake blood kits mulling over the recent disappointments in my life when a portly middle age mother called for her child. ‘DESIRE! DESIRE!! GET OVER HERE NOW! DESIRE!’ This mother had named her child ‘Desire’, life could definitely be worse. Despite not wanting to condemn this girl for her unrequested life sentence I couldn’t help but think in the future she’d either have a name change or a baby at 15.
If the miscellaneous tacky wares were anything to go by, love and life could be described in any number of ways. Love is war; I could agree with that. Two opposing forces involved in a violent event of such magnitude that when it’s over there’s only dead bodies and giant national debt left. Life is like a box of chocolates; definitely agreeable, there’s going to be delicious and unexpected portions, but also bits that you’re allergic to or pieces you wish you’re friends had to have instead of you. A disagreeable one was, Love is like a rubix cube; Their explanation went something like, although there are many wrong twists and turns, when you get it right, no matter which way you look at it, it’s perfect. My interpretation of this metaphor was something more along the lines of ‘Love is like a rubix cube; a shit, complicated puzzle that will leave you so frustrated eventually you will cheat and peel off the stickers’. My confusion for these metaphors were probably less to do with their ridiculousness and more to do with why they were on display, and who the hell would buy these and put them up on their wall during a halloween.
If I had to come up with a metaphor for one of these horrific trinkets it might be something like ‘Love is a rollercoaster’. Vomit, I hear you say. Just hear me out. I don’t mean it in the Ronan Keating way, I don’t mean it in the ‘a rollercoaster of emotions!’ kind of way (the only emotion I have on rollercoasters is scream. That’s an emotion right?). Love is like a rollercoaster in the way that there’s a huge queue; you’ll be waiting for awhile. You’re with your friends waiting for your turn, sometimes they’ll go before you or get left behind, but you don’t mind because you all want to go on. The actual ride is exhilerating at times; scary when you leave your stomach behind, and the biggest thrill you’ve had in awhile, some hidden camera takes hideous photos of the experience, but before you know it, it’s over. Even after the experience you’ll still be talking about it with your friends for awhile. The only difference is you’ll rarely be bitching about a rollercoaster ride. But when love is getting you down, the best thing you can do is look around you and realise that ‘Life is like a box of lego bricks’ (oh brother) Colourful, plastic, full of weird looking men and women with detachable wigs (but also full of awesome things like Star Wars, Harry Potter and Fantasy Hospital) and only as good as what you make of it. And also, just remember, that your name isn’t Desire.